R35

We came together. You yelled something. I groaned. Now we are just laying in the bed, crumpled. I am happy. Becuase you are so juicy. Because you know when to bite and where. Because you have curly hair that smells of nettle shampoo. Beacuse you wear those soft fabric shirts wide enough so I can see your ample bosom. Because you are beautiful only to me.

You reach for something and produce a cigarette. I look at you, slightly taken aback. You light your ciggy and thirstily take a drag. You smile at my astonished face.

"You didn't know that I'm a smoker?" you ask.
I shake head, no.

"You know nothing", you sigh.
I shrug and smile, slightly embarrased.

"Do you know how long we are together?" you ask me.
My smile disperses like smoke of your cigarette.

"Do you know what's my favorite movie? What's my favorite food? What's my sister's name?"
"I know that" I hurry to confirm.
"What else do you know?"
Your cigarette's ashes end up in glass next to our bed. I frown. This is not like you. That much I know.

"Do you even know how old I am?"
I guess you are my age. We went to same elementary school, later we went to different high schools, but we enrolled at uni in the same time.

"We can't go on like this", you say after long pause.
"Biljana, what did I do wrong? What's the matter?"
"I don't want to live next to you like a ghost."
"What are you talking about... we are a couple, we're having fun."
"Only it's no longer so fun for me"
"Oh don't be like that, I'll improve."
"You said that for my birthday, and nothing changed."
"What do you mean, some things did change, didn't they?"
"I am going to finish my uni and you are what... still at your first year?"
"...second."
"I can't carry you any more."

More than the fact that you are leaving me, hurts the fact that I know what you mean. Being left I will deal with later, while I will be running down the riverside trying to spit out ball of searing lava that will be rumbling up an down my lungs.