R45

Reaching for your hand, you took mine and smiled. Pulled you in and there we were at the summit. Wiping your forehead pulled your hood back. Your cheeks were so flushed, snow gleamed in your hair. Taking off your glasses, you scanned the surroundings with binocs. You marvelet at the scenery and I was in awe of you, looking like a mountain goddess.

Several moments later, you dropped your binoculars, then unhooked the strap of backpack and put it away. Peeling the crackers wrapping, you munched at a leaf-thin snack. I love to observe you eat. You nibble like a bunny. As you were eating, however, fear started to creep up on me.

At first it was just worry that you will slip and slide down the ravine we've just climbed. I shook that one off easily. After all we were strapped and securely anchored. In my head I was already saving you, making knots and pulling you to safetly of the next anchor. But what if something happens on the way down? Most of mountaineering accidents happen on descent. I started calculating how far is it to first base. Maybe we don't have to go all the way down. Maybe we could camp out on the cliff. My fear was cracking just like melting ice of clacier that we traversed. I could see it in my mind's eye, crevice opening and swallowing you. Icy snow covering you and suddenly those glistening snowflakes in your hair seemed so creepy. I wanted to rush up to you and hug you tight, but I was afraid that it would only startle you and provoke real accident. So I was shivering and craving that moment when we can really hug.

But the crack went wider. I worried if we would ever reach the hotel. What if avalanche takes us while we are resting in the base camp? I wasn't afraid for myself, but what if the mountain snatches you away from me in that moment of lull. Well, we are able alpinists, so we will probably survive the descent, but what if that rickety van that takes us to hotel spells doom for us. Driver failing us and driving off the mountain road?

I felt my tears freezing on my cheekbones. I couldn't even shout your name. I was simply crying and praying to the mountain to let you safely returned to me.